Thursday 28 November 2013



Woah, it has been nearly a year since i bothered to put pen to paper finger to keyboard and i don't know where to start with this year. Do i bother with a recap of which is just drunken highlights, much akin to something on Harry Hills TV Burp or You've Been Framed.

So little has happened, and even less that has been 'blog' worthy. Many drunken nights out, many drug fuelled nights out (Well less than should have been). Lets see, i have forgone my need for tattoos by stretching my ears, I've moved out with some of my friends, i have started work with a company that does Certification Tests with the Xbox one but ultimately I'm in the same place i was last year. Different job, different people, same woes.

Stand out this year, well my friends Roy and Steve got married (Not to each other, they had separate weddings), heart was broken, went camping, fell off my bike again (this time with CCTV footage). Met some amazing people, lost some amazing people (Not through dying, i just don't speak to them much anymore, or i just don't speak to them) i think that's about it? Not an exciting year, i mean there have been days/nights that have been stand out but i don't remember them either through drink/drugs/old age.

It is getting closer to my Advent season so i think i might try and keep up with that for the month but being that i can't really talk about what i do at work means it's going to be less interesting than a Dr Who special hosted by Zoe Ball on BBC Three.

This weekend will probably herald the return of my Tales of Drunkard series of posts and i might continue up the posts of random drunken nights out, but they seem to be less drunken and more well drunken but with people i know rather than the random people of Reading. So I'm not sure if that counts anymore.

I'm guessing that's it. Not that there is anything left to tell you, like i said nothing much has happened this year.
I better get ready for Advent! Shit why did i start writing again now.

Sunday 16 December 2012

Advent: Dec 14th


Yes i have skipped a few days, oops. But fuck all happened in those days. I worked, i slept, i pooped. Rinse and repeat. Nothing out of the ordinary so why feign interest?

Let me take you back to March when my friend Rohan informed me that Phillip Glass was performing Koyannisqatsi live at the Barbican. This is the only time he has ever performed this in the UK. Now i have talked about this film before under the post Life in Balance. Now taking you back i used to watch this film at my mates while pretty stoned and although you don't have to, it kind of helped get into the hypnotic score and visuals that happen on screen.
So this moment that we were embarking on was a full circle that spanned nearly 10 years. Even though i had the day off i still managed to fuck up my timings and ended up getting to London later than planned. I got to Amico Bell, a really good Italian restaurant, a bit too late but met Rohan, Nicola an Elise and was given a glass of wine.
They finished their food while i had another wine and we trotted off to the Barbican. Never been there before but it was a pretty damn nice place. Will have to go back. We got in and found our seats and we were two rows from the stage. Amazing seats and within 5 mins Philip Glass came on stage and the composer shortly after and the lights dimmed. They then proceeded to show the film on the screen behind and the orchestra played the entire score live. I had a smile on my face for at least 20 minutes of the film, which only lasts 85mins, and was one of the happiest moments of this year. It was stunning to see the film i have loved for such a long time with the score played right in front of me. I need to either see more composers or more live classical music because that was something special.
After the film finished there was a standing ovation for a good 15 minutes, quite rightly so. We picked the good day as on the 15th was just a retrospective of his life and works which did sound good but we got the best deal out of those two days.

With the clapping done we milled about for a bit. Elise went home and Rohan, Nicola and Rohans friend Mel, plus myself, walked about till we found a bar. We found a smallish one and had a few beers and chatted for a bit. We then left and went to the Jugged Hare just outside the Barbican as Nicola knew some people who were having a meal, unbeknownst to us they had only just ordered. So we kinda gatecrashed their meal. Which was alright i suppose as we were all chatty and not unwanted (possibly). They did seem quite, Londonish. I mean two of them i got on with and chatted to about a few things from Japanese Whiskey to what we all saw at the Barbican. The other two i probably wouldn't socialise with. They seemed nice but no.
After a drink there we moved on as the last tubes were soon. I said my goodbye and got the tube back to Paddington. Which is where the night got shitty. Friday night, 00:45 and the next train was 1:44am. I mean what the fuck. I know not many people would probably travel back from London to Reading at that time but there are a lot of stations on the way. So 1:44am rolls around and theres tons of people waiting for a train that has 4 carriages and stops at lots of stops. When First Great Western start supplying a service that deserves my money then i will stop jumping train fairs, sitting in First Class when i don't have a ticket and generally hating the entire network.
Got home about 3am, sober and with a headache. But not even that could put a damper on the night. Phillip Glass i salute you.

Tuesday 11 December 2012

Advent: Dec 10th


Days off suck sometimes. I mean they are good for resting and shit but nothing gets done. Well i dont do anything.
Saying that i did put my cheque from the tax office into the bank, which looking at my bank balance is needed, and was going to the post office but that was queued up to the door. Why so many people.
That was it. My productive day was as unproductive as *insert witty remark about the current governement*. The rest of the day was playing ipad games, watching crap tv and writing.

I would say stick with me, the Advent posts will get better. But lets face it, it probably wont.

Monday 10 December 2012

Tales of a Drunkard: Year in review


Well considering i have only written one thing this year (Not counting the current Advent series) i thought a year in review would be good. Both for anyone reading and wondering what i have been up to (No one) and myself to just recap.

So in January i became the manager of the Go Kart track i worked at, spent alot of time at Sahara drinking and house parties. February was the month of snow, shit loads of it. February also bought weird dreams, lots of drinking and discovering Mixcloud.
March was a Skyrim month, which i should start playing again, that's all March had for me other than drinking at Sahara, learning about El Dorado rum and hiring staff from nights out drinking.
April, Spring. Such a time for things to come. Also fuck you April. The beginning was good, i saw my first Wall of Death at a Steam Fair and then my faithful Mongoose Crossway bike broke, broker harder than a broke broker. So i bought myself a fancy new Fixed gear bike, a Mongoose Maurice. Nice black and orange thing going on. It was also a night out with some friends for some cocktails and general drinking. All was going swimmingly. I went and got the bike on the train, came back and was a bit wobbly with a fixed gear as i had never ridden one before, managed home and back into town.

Then we started drinking. Which is where the fun began i suppose. We left and i walked my friend home then i made a stupid mistake of getting on my bike and cycling off rather than not. Worst decision i have ever made as i got about 1/4 of the way home and came off my bike. Blacked out when i hit the road and a passer by picked me up and helped me to the side. Nothing really hurt but i was bleeding from my head and cut my jeans and fucked my leg up. Oh and part of my shoulder was sticking out. Went to hospital and had a month off work, well about 6 weeks really. Couldn't walk that well for a few weeks.
My shoulder is still fucked, I'm pretty sure i tore the Coracoclavicular ligament. I might be wrong but it is that one. Common with rugby injuries and Freddie Flintoff had the same ligament damage i had, probably through drinking too!

So that was my April, it was spent on the sofa, watching TV, my laptop broke and i got shit all money from work. My bike was fucked but that was easily repaired. I was in that range where i didn't need surgery if it wasn't totally necessary. I spent most of April just hanging out and drinking, as walking into town wasn't too bad in a sling.

May brought 2ManyDjs, Real Ale festival and Simon Amstell. All in all was a good month of nights out. And that was May done really all while having lots of painkillers and a sling.
June was my birthday. Not the whole month, I'm not greedy like the queen having multiple birthdays, just the beginning of June. The 6th for future reference. I got some handlebars and a brake lever from a mate which is good as i fucked mine up when i fell off. Saw Promethues, not all that, realised that letting friends ride your bikes will end up with broken bikes (Thanks Lee and Ed).

Then that's it really. The rest of the year has been so-so. I got a cool Icarus tattoo on my left arm, half a sleeve, and got a Zombie hand holding a NES controller on my right bicep. I have been out drinking alot, i went to Bruges and met some cool people. Met up with some of them in London and spent a day and night having fun. I went to the Paralympics and spent some time in Hyde Park watching the Olympics on the big screens.
I went to Rumfest for the first time and was amazed by so many Rums, i was the best man to my friends wedding which was a very good day and night and honoured to be part of their day. Although i didn't get to go to any festivals this year i did get to go see Ugly Duckling, Frank Turner and coming up this Friday is Phillip Glass which i'm looking so forward to.

That's about it for the year, fun, exciting, sad, expensive, broken and regretful. 

There is only less than a month left, but not sure where it will go. Christmas is looming and New Years soon, hoping both will be great.
Hmm i didn't really do much this year.

Advent: Dec 9th


Stupid watch designed from the Mayans.... Urggh. Anyways firstly I'm now caught up on all these Advent writings.
Sunday was a dead day. I caught up on ALL of the sleep i needed and got up about 2pm. Made some egg and bacon sandwiches and tea. Lots of tea. It cures all that ails you.
I just sat around, watched crap films, listened to music and caught up on all the advent writings. Wait no i was woken up at 9am because staff didn't turn up to work and i was far too ill to go in. So i spent about 15mins trying to get some staff and in the end they got cover.

Thats about it. My days off are crap lately.

Advent: Dec 8th


Today did not start well. At all. I woke up wondering why it was so bright at 7:45am and looking at my phone realised it was 9:45am. I was meant to be at work at 9. So not off to a great start. My phone had also cut any signal so all the phone calls and texts that i was sent all came through at once. Luckily someone was at the track to open up. No time for a shower so Lynx it was. A hurried and hungover cycle to work, with a stop for a McDonalds breakfast wrap, and i was at work by 10:25. So not overly late.

Luckily i was on reception but there was a ton of cleaning from the conference the day before. This was not a good day and i turned down several attempts at getting me out again and unfortunately missing a meal to go home and eventually pass out at 5pm. Waking at 8 to cook myself a rather awesome dinner if i may say so myself.
I had an odd nights sleep awaking to some strange noises that ended at 4am, they were as if someone was hitting metal with wood, or the other way round, and in intervals of about 10 seconds. Freaked me the fuck out. Though technically this should be on Dec 9ths Advent but at the moment I'm playing catch up.

Advent: Dec 7th


After a few shorts hours of sleep [4] i was up and cycling in the dead of morning to get to work for 6:30am for a conference booked into the track. Safe to say it was a long ass day and we decided to take it in our stride. Eating the bacon and sausage sarnies provided, coffee and sitting in a comfy chair by the heater watching the pissing rain happening outside. 
Long story short, lots of GPs were ran and were very fun for the most part, nice customers. I was, however, thankful to get the fuck outta there and get some sleep. This was of course not going to happen as the same colleagues that were out on Wed also wanted to go out tonight. I was having none of it, my opinion was however changed by the fact the drinks were being paid for by someone else.

It just happened to be my friends first DJ gig at the bar on the bridge in caversham and was a reunion of sorts which was a cheeky bonus. Ben was pretty damn good on the decks and after we ventured back into town. There was a private function at Deja Vu, DJs, Monroe Bar so we just went to Pavs for some cheeky drinks. Which of course were bought by someone else.

I have this rule when it comes to other peoples generosity. You drink whatever they buy you, or whatever they drink. So the first one was Archers and Lemonade and a shot of Tequila on the side. Not a bad start. I did buy some drinks, wine, Patron tequila and beer, I'm not going to spend all of someones money on myself. 
After a game of table football ( i won) and two games of pool ( i also won) we went to Turtle for some more drinks and whatever the night had in store.

Which was more drinks. Some rubbish dancing and more drinks. Bumped into a few people i hadn't seen for awhile which is always good on a night out. By the time we left at 4am it was pretty cold so the three of us left huddled together like Penguins. I don't see why people are so adverse to huddling with others for warmth, because the other people standing outside wouldn't join. Well one man did, he was alright but walked off in search of a taxi.

Another drunken cycle home and remembering that i had work at 9am the next morning wasn't a nice thought to have.